It was mid-2016 when a shameful decision nudged me on a new path
I was a fresh mum with the same high professional ambitions when my self confidence was shuttered.
One of the high yield bond issuers I was covering defaulted.
The news came after a steady deterioration in financials that took several quarters.
The bonds were already priced at distress levels.
Yet during this turn in results and trend I had only changed my recommendation to hold.
The news removed any denial that I was in the wrong.
While my colleagues showed understanding, I struggled to feel the same way. I could look for excuses but they failed to sooth my nerves.
I had to acknowledge that this was more than hindsight basis.
I made some bad decisions despite
my qualifications,
my models,
my fancy analysis.
I was committed to my work, passionate about it, researching every single day, waking up at 5 even through pregnancy to make sure I stay on top.
Yet I messed up.
I was consumed by what happened.
I understood that I had been biased in many ways.
I understood there must be a better way of doing things.
That moment I started to look for answers.
I knew I had to build my emotional intelligence and started a new learning journey.
What started with a few books, continued with formal formations as I grasped more and more how important our emotions, thoughts and non conscious processes are in transforming our skills into results.
At first I only found reasons for my failure.
As I persisted I also found solutions.
I moved from "Why did I make such a bad decision?" into "How can I make better decisions going forward?"
The discoveries were empowering and revealing.
The solutions I found helped me:
put my skills to better use by preventing them from feeding overconfidence,
be cautiously optimistic,
be curious more than ego-driven,
be open to changing my mind,
see more perspectives,
avoid rushing in into decisions,
manage group think,
be more creative in generating alternatives when taking decisions,
be more aware of relevant details,
better communicate my reasoning in group decision making,
be more aware of emotions that drive me,
be mindful of the conclusions I draw from my successes
and much more.
These new knowledge, skills and tools made me increasingly more adaptive in making personal and professional decisions.
So much so that I became increasingly determined to share them with fellow professionals.
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